Goodbye 2008 HELLO 2009

It has been a year of many great and not so great things. As always. But this year was special for me.
This year I finally came to terms with myself - with my sexuality. And I told my family (parents, sister, brother-in-law) - pretty big steps for a girl who wouldn't admit it to herself for years. The rest of my family doesn’t know (or at least I haven't told them yet).
Like I've written before - I realized that I had never been in love with a man - only women (and girls - when I was younger). And although I have yet to experience the physical part of being with a woman - I know that it's for me. I've never really enjoyed being with a man (physically) - but it felt like that was expected. "Get a boyfriend, get married, have 2,5 kids". So I did - got a boyfriend (but not until I was 19). I even got married (at 24 - and divorced at 25. No kids though). And it turned out it was all in my head. When I came out to my parents, my dad said: "I don't care who you are dating. As long as you are happy!"
Some might say that it was about time I figured it out - but I guess I've always known that I was attracted to women. Just never admitted it.
If I have to label myself, I guess I would have to go with 'bisexual' for now. But I prefer the term 'gay'. I think it's more fluent.

I discovered "The L Word" (all 5 seasons), "Loving Annabelle" and "Imagine Me And You" among other movies/series this year.

Further more 2008 was the year I got to 'know' a whole bunch of people on YouTube, AfterEllen, Blogger/Blogspot, MySpace, Twitter, Facebook... Well on the Internet.
And I think they are part of the reason I finally came out - both to myself but also to my nearest family. Not that I thought there was anything wrong with being gay - but still. In the words of a much 'hated' singer this year: "That's not what good girls do". Guess what? They do!

And as for my resolutions this year... I actually first decided not to have any. Mainly because I tend to break them. But thinking about what I would do different next year I ended up with:

1. Not 'play' straigt every single time a cute girl talks to me (for some really odd reason I always have to bring up 'my ex-husband'. Why do I do that?)
   
   
2. Go for it! (I tend to be uber careful about almost everything. It's time to loosen up a bit. And jump into things.)
   
   
3. Maybe I'll watch some Battlestar Galactica and listen to Tegan and Sara - just to see what all the fuzz is about ;o)
   
   

Who knows? 2009 might just be my year.

So all that's left to say is:

I hope you all have a Happy New Year



...And I hope you don't feel all too or .....

See you next year.

Beaver Bunch: This weeks topics.

Last week of the year. Actually there's only three days this year, so Michelle, Lu and Kade will not post untill next year ;o)

Time to reflect on 2008...anyway you'd like! Favorite memory? Your New Year's Resolutions? What you'd like your 2009 to bring? The skies the limit Beavs...after all how can you put limits on an entire year!

GO Watch!