Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Goodbye 2008 HELLO 2009

It has been a year of many great and not so great things. As always. But this year was special for me.
This year I finally came to terms with myself - with my sexuality. And I told my family (parents, sister, brother-in-law) - pretty big steps for a girl who wouldn't admit it to herself for years. The rest of my family doesn’t know (or at least I haven't told them yet).
Like I've written before - I realized that I had never been in love with a man - only women (and girls - when I was younger). And although I have yet to experience the physical part of being with a woman - I know that it's for me. I've never really enjoyed being with a man (physically) - but it felt like that was expected. "Get a boyfriend, get married, have 2,5 kids". So I did - got a boyfriend (but not until I was 19). I even got married (at 24 - and divorced at 25. No kids though). And it turned out it was all in my head. When I came out to my parents, my dad said: "I don't care who you are dating. As long as you are happy!"
Some might say that it was about time I figured it out - but I guess I've always known that I was attracted to women. Just never admitted it.
If I have to label myself, I guess I would have to go with 'bisexual' for now. But I prefer the term 'gay'. I think it's more fluent.

I discovered "The L Word" (all 5 seasons), "Loving Annabelle" and "Imagine Me And You" among other movies/series this year.

Further more 2008 was the year I got to 'know' a whole bunch of people on YouTube, AfterEllen, Blogger/Blogspot, MySpace, Twitter, Facebook... Well on the Internet.
And I think they are part of the reason I finally came out - both to myself but also to my nearest family. Not that I thought there was anything wrong with being gay - but still. In the words of a much 'hated' singer this year: "That's not what good girls do". Guess what? They do!

And as for my resolutions this year... I actually first decided not to have any. Mainly because I tend to break them. But thinking about what I would do different next year I ended up with:

  1. Not 'play' straigt every single time a cute girl talks to me (for some really odd reason I always have to bring up 'my ex-husband'. Why do I do that?)

  2. Go for it! (I tend to be uber careful about almost everything. It's time to loosen up a bit. And jump into things.)

  3. Maybe I'll watch some Battlestar Galactica and listen to Tegan and Sara - just to see what all the fuzz is about ;o)

Who knows? 2009 might just be my year.

So all that's left to say is:

I hope you all have a Happy New Year

...And I hope you don't feel all too Photoserver.WS or Photoserver.WS .....

See you next year.

Photoserver.WS Photoserver.WS

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Beaver Bunch: This weeks topics.

Last week of the year. Actually there's only three days this year, so Michelle, Lu and Kade will not post untill next year ;o)

Time to reflect on 2008...anyway you'd like! Favorite memory? Your New Year's Resolutions? What you'd like your 2009 to bring? The skies the limit Beavs...after all how can you put limits on an entire year!

GO Watch!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Ten People (or so) I'd Like To Meet:

As so many before me, I wanted to make a list of some people I'd like to meet. But my problem is, that there are so many people I have come to 'know' this year, that I don't event know where to begin!!!

Well actually I tried to make a list, but every time I felt like ‘I’m done’ more names kept popping up in my head. So I just kept writing…. After a long, long, long, long time of trying to narrow it down I ended up with this.

In random order (is there any other way to do this?):

The Beaver Bunch (Michelle, Lori, AJ, Jess, Lu/Laura, Kade)
Bridget McManus (and hopefully Karman Kregloe will be there as well)
Dara Nai
Sarah Warn (and Lori Grant)
Jill Bennett
Erin Kelly
Rachel Maddow
Meghan Tonjes (That girl can sing!. Her Collab Project Lifesize's Channel on YouTube.)
Rachel Shelley

And those who almost made the list (well they are on my I'd like to meet-list but I had to narrow it down, right?):
Katherine Brooks/Diane Gaidry
The cast from 3way/Liz Feldman, Raimy Rosenduft/BJ Fletcher, George Drew, Jenna Watson (should I know their real names?)/StuntDouble/Dorothy Snarker/....pretty much everybody at (How to choose?)
Jill Hanner (
Michael Buckley (Yeah he's on
YouTube too)
A whole bunch of other YouTube'rs (I know I've mentioned some, but there are more, so many more I'd like to meet. Like
DatAintRight, azrienoch, katlitter, misscupcake1, imaJENtleman, caughtnbetween, projectblogsphere, GeneticBlend and many, many, many more.....)

Why do I find it so difficult finding people (I want to meet) that are not connected to either YouTube or AfterEllen? Sometimes I think I have more contact with my ‘Internet-family’ than my real family….
Jeeze I got to get a life….

Maybe I should make at list of people I'd like to hang out with...?
Or maybe I should just go hang out with some real people - and stop making lists about every thing ;o)
Except maybe my 100 things to do before I turn 40-list... :o)

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Monday, December 22, 2008


This weeks topic on The Beaver Bunch:

Well. Here it is...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO THE ENTIRE BUNCH (Baby Beavs included)!!!! This week the topic is simply the Holidays - share your favorite Holiday movies, songs, miracles, memories, traditions, etc. It's all up to you :)No matter what Holiday you celebrate, the entire Beaver Bunch wishes you tons of smiles, laughter, and love! And don't forget to share YOUR holiday video/comments with us :)

GO watch!

And in case I don't get time to write before the 24th and 25th (depending on where you live):


Thursday, December 18, 2008

Project for Awesome:

The Project for Awesome:

"Every year, YouTube's Community takes over YouTube for a day...and instead of being stupid or funny or informative...we promote charities. Just one day a year...we'll get back to being silly tomorrow."

It started yesterday.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Two fathers...

This is a Dutch song performed by a Dutch children's choir "Kindern voor Kindern" (Children for children). It's not a new song (maybe 2 years old) - I just didn't know it was out there.

It's called "Twee vaders" - which means two fathers.
There's English subtitles.

You can read more about the choir here.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Statcounter - and what I do with it....

I have StatCounter.
I got it, so I could see if anybody actually watched my blog.
Not that it matters - well obviously it matters. I love having followers and I love that people actually read what I write. But what I mean is, that I would probably write anyway....

There's also this thing (on StatCounter), that tells you what people are looking for, when they reach your page/blog.

What's the main search for the moment:
- Karman Kregloe (sorry Bridget...)

Karman leads by far, but she's followed by:
- Bridget Mcmanus and Karman Kregloe
- Beaver Bunch

The top 3 varies, but not much. Other words like: married?, truth or dare, gay... are added to the requests.

So maybe I need to write more about Karman Kregloe - or about the fact that Karman Kregloe and Bridget McManus are indeed married. And maybe I need to write more about The Beaver Bunch.

Or maybe people will never find exatcly they are searching for... 'cause I dont have all the answers.

YouTube does pay!!!!

But only if you make your own videos (and a lot of them) and make partner.
Michael Buckley is one of them. He's on YouTube with WHATTHEBUCKSHOW and Peron75. And he's just been on CNN.

Now all I need to do is - well - start to make my own videos (if only I wasn't so camerashy...). And then (when they catch on) make YouTube partner...
Maybe that'll happen next year....
What? A girl can dream, right?

The Awareness Test...

How aware are you?

I sooo failed :o(

Monday, December 15, 2008

This weeks topic on The Beaver Bunch:

It's monday, so here's the topic:

We've spoken about high school, but what happens with life after highschool? Baby Beaver Shelby is curious about what we did right after we graduated and how we ended up where we did today.


I know. I know! I have to stop obsessing about the L Word...

But I JUST HAVE TO share this with you.

If you like LOVE The L Word...
If you are obsessed with are on Facebook..
If you can't get enough of AfterEllen and their amazing writers (in this case the talented stuntdouble.)

THEN you HAVE to watch this.

I was litterally LOL and ROFLMAO. SOOOOOO funny!!!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

New baby Porter-Kennard? SPOILER. I guess...

I found this on LesPlaneteng's blog.

As far as I can tell, it's from Season 6 of The L Word.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Labyrinth... Never Ending Story...

Movies with a fantasy theme. When I was younger, I loved them. (As do I today.)

So here's a few YouTube videos.
Kindda like a blast from the past.


David Bowie plays the Goblin King and Jennifer Connelly plays the teenage girl, Sarah, solving his labyrinth. The movie is about Sarah and her baby brother whom she accidentally wished away to the goblins. And how she's to get him back.

Never Ending Story.
I know this is more of a music video - but I love the song as well. And it's the same name as the movie and the book (written by Michael Ende).

So I found a video with the three main characters (Falkor the luckdragon, Atreyu and Bastian). I YYY Falkor.

Goblins and Dragons...
No wonder I love Harry Potter.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Thursday, December 11, 2008


Okay. I know it's a strange world out there, but why...? Why???? Why would anyone think that THIS is a good idea?
I mean...COME ON PEOLPLE? WTF? And might I just add EWWW!!

Anybody else heard of the "Semen Cookbook" (Yes, semen... WTF?)

This most certainly deserves a "My eyes! My eyes!"-bunny. Sarah Warn, could I please borrow that - along with the others?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.)

So I took this quiz called: What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.).

And weirdly enough I thought it was spot on.

The full result is somewhere on my blog 444444444444 overthere...

"You Scored as The Surprise! Dyke
Despite the dead giveaways, such as the tattoos and love of the L Word, people still seem to think that you're straight."

I do have tattoos. (Just two - but still...)
I own a motorcyle.
I love the L Word (and Loving Annabelle, Imagine Me and You, etc.).
I'm addicted to AfterEllen.
I have 'gay hands' ;-)

But somehow people still don't know I'm gay. Why is that?

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Day Without a Gay

Tomorrow (Dec. 10th) it's "Day Without a Gay" in the U.S. It's a respons to the "Yes" on Prop. 8. (So it's the first "Day Witout a Gay" ever).
What you are supposed to do is " call in Gay...". Like when you call in sick - only tomorrow you call in gay. Or - if you don't want to do that (for random reasons) - just don't buy anything.
It's an effort to show (the U.S.) government that the gay contribute to the economy - big time.

This is a video created by the Jennifer Vanasco and John Polly, the editors of and, to show how tomorrow might be like.

Gay music and video from

Sir Rupert, the Gay Knight

This is a video I found on my second home YouTube. It has had over 364,257 views. It was made by thinkmorepink.

I like it.

Monday, December 8, 2008

First two minutes of the last season of The L Word

Now everybody pretty much know by now who dies.
But if you by some kind of misfortune didn't know - and you want to - you can watch it right here.

The third spoiler:

Beaver Bunch: Questions for the week.

This weeks questions:

So there seems to be one comment/question/concern that we receive QUITE often...and that is the “ring finger myth”, Beavs flaunt those fingers, and show the Baby Beavs if you make the case for the study that says you can tell a homo by their hands.

And here are some quick questions to cover after you flex your fingers.

1.) What is the most overused saying?
2.) What is your favorite saying?
3.) What are your Careers?
4.) Blondes or Brunettes?
5.) Favorite movie of all time?
6.) Did you ever have a crush on a teacher?


PS. I apparently have 'lesbian hands'. At least my index finger is shorter than my ring finger. Yay?

Gay on Grey: And the Saga continues...

Now why can’t I write like that?

I'm not native to the written English word (and it sometimes is hard to find the proper translation to the sayings or jokes in my language).
And I can't watch ABC - so I'm not up to date on the currant events on Greys Anatomy (not since Hester gave up on the show).
But still...

Sunday, December 7, 2008

This is what YouTube do to you!!!

I spend waaaay too much time on YouTube.

Sniff Swig Puff
Rock Hudson and Bea Arthur

Is it wrong that a girl my age loved “Golden Girls”? I thought they were hilarious.

Golden Girls bloopers

More Golden Girls - Greatest moments

And the Golden Girls - The lesbian lovers from Miami

Dorothy's lesbian friend (Part 1)

To watch the others:
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Enough of that.

But I couldn't quit - could I... Next clips are from WGN, BwB, SMMWT, 3way and other AfterEllen vlogs/vloggers

3way – I kissed a girl

I know a lot of people don't like that song - but I think it works with this video. (Ecxept for the " doesn't matter.."-part. Bridget DOES matter!!!)

We’re Getting Nowhere – Charlie’s Angles

We're Getting Nowhere/Brunch With Bridget

We’re Getting Nowhere – Randomness

WGN – Mrs. and Mrs. Smith

Like I said. I spend waaaay too much time at YouTube (and on AfterEllen) - but I enjoy it Y.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

If you can't get enough of lesbian websites - or if you can't get enough of Jill Bennett (or Cathy Debuono) - you should go here.
They (SheWired) calls it:

"The go-to site for women; lesbian, gay, bi queer, trans, straight girl but curious."

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Prop 8: The musical...

I just saw this at AfterEllen, and I wanted to share this with you.

Here it is:

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Sorry... Couldn't resist...

Now I like The L Word...
And I like AfterEllen....
And I like Dorothy Snarker's comments...
I'm actually not that into fashion - but I do pay attention sometimes...

So what do you get if you put them all together:

One FUNNY lady talking about The L Word - and fashion crime - on her AfterEllen blog...

This made me laugh. Out loud. Several times.
(Especially the Kit and Shane comments...)

Now I know it's not a new post - but it's still funny. And it has some great pictures.


Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The Beaver Bunch

This weeks topic:

Alright Beavers, it's time to think back to High School...we had a Baby Beaver ask the following: As a highschooler I was wondering how you guys dealt with homophobia when YOU were in highschool. I'm sure (as I definately do) you guys had to listen to homophobic remarks from classmates and backhanded comments from teachers. I'm sometimes torn about when to speak up- If I said something everytime I heard 'thats so gay' or 'you're such a fag' then... that would be basically every second of my day. You know the saying "choose your battles"- I guess I'm trying to ask when it is that you choose your battles/how did you deal with homophobia in high school.

So go watch their answers.
Remember it's a new Beaver Mondy-Friday.

Monday, December 1, 2008

L Word... Season 6 cast commentary...

First there's the second spoiler (with Lucy Lawless as a cop), and then the commentary follows.



My favorite part of the storyline this season is that Dylan returns. (Yeah I like Dylena - thought they were very, very cute together. Helena met her match.)
And from what I could tell, there seem to be some sort of story there. (Watch from 3.50.) And the two brief (very brief) scenes between them (Watch 4.24 - 4.26). Now that just made my Christmas!
I just hope Ilene Chaiken doesn't f*ck it up make a mess of the whole thing.

If you can't get enough of the L Word read Dorothy Snarkers post on the very subject...

Remember it's World's AIDS day.
Protect yourself/Use protection.