Happy New Year!

Trying to figure out whether or not to come up with a few New Year’s resolutions I found myself looking at my post from last New Year. Although at that point all my resolutions seemed pretty huge and I didn’t expect to follow them all through (after all that is what happens to a lot of resolutions…) I accomplished to follow through on them all. Yay me! :-)

The most significant of them all was my second resolution: Go for it! And this resolution wasn’t just about me being a gay it was a general thing. And I did it. For every major decision in my life (and some not so big) I tried to figure out what was the best thing for me. What would make me happy?

And 2009 was a year of many changes in my life. Some pretty big, some small and some reeeaaalllllly huge :-)

I didn’t pass my final exam, so I won’t graduate until this summer. But that also gives me time to finish all my classes at the same time, and I won’t have to deal with a job along side of my Science class.*


I came out to my extended family. And although for some of them it was difficult seeing me as a lesbian they all were more concerned about my happiness than anything else.


But the biggest and most important change in my life in 2009 happened gradually from April/May. I found myself spending a whole lot more time at the computer. And for once I didn’t mind having a bit of insomnia. It actually came in handy when speaking to a person who used to live in a time zone that’s 9 hours behind yours. Which means that the couple of hours you may sleep is equivalent to some of the hours she might sleep too. And the time difference won’t interfere with the hours you are able to speak with each other.

The observant reader of course noticed that I wrote “used to” ;-)

We now live not only in the same time zone but also the same house and have been for almost 4 months :-)

Sometimes I wonder how I got to be so lucky. I mean, what are the odds of two people living on different continents finding each other over the internet, fall in love and get to build a life together?

But it is nice for once to be able to say that I’m not the only gay in the village anymore ;-)

This year I’ve decided not to press my luck as far as the resolutions goes.
But I’ve decided that as long as I follow my heart I can’t be all wrong. Sure I might hit a few bumps in the road along the way but as long as I stay true to myself it’s got to be worth it.

Hope you all have the most excellent 2010!



*I’m studying to be a teacher (for kids aged 7 – 17) and I really wanted to teach Science as well as History but it was not possible at the same time so I postponed Science a year.

Goodbye 2008 HELLO 2009

It has been a year of many great and not so great things. As always. But this year was special for me.
This year I finally came to terms with myself - with my sexuality. And I told my family (parents, sister, brother-in-law) - pretty big steps for a girl who wouldn't admit it to herself for years. The rest of my family doesn’t know (or at least I haven't told them yet).
Like I've written before - I realized that I had never been in love with a man - only women (and girls - when I was younger). And although I have yet to experience the physical part of being with a woman - I know that it's for me. I've never really enjoyed being with a man (physically) - but it felt like that was expected. "Get a boyfriend, get married, have 2,5 kids". So I did - got a boyfriend (but not until I was 19). I even got married (at 24 - and divorced at 25. No kids though). And it turned out it was all in my head. When I came out to my parents, my dad said: "I don't care who you are dating. As long as you are happy!"
Some might say that it was about time I figured it out - but I guess I've always known that I was attracted to women. Just never admitted it.
If I have to label myself, I guess I would have to go with 'bisexual' for now. But I prefer the term 'gay'. I think it's more fluent.

I discovered "The L Word" (all 5 seasons), "Loving Annabelle" and "Imagine Me And You" among other movies/series this year.

Further more 2008 was the year I got to 'know' a whole bunch of people on YouTube, AfterEllen, Blogger/Blogspot, MySpace, Twitter, Facebook... Well on the Internet.
And I think they are part of the reason I finally came out - both to myself but also to my nearest family. Not that I thought there was anything wrong with being gay - but still. In the words of a much 'hated' singer this year: "That's not what good girls do". Guess what? They do!

And as for my resolutions this year... I actually first decided not to have any. Mainly because I tend to break them. But thinking about what I would do different next year I ended up with:

1. Not 'play' straigt every single time a cute girl talks to me (for some really odd reason I always have to bring up 'my ex-husband'. Why do I do that?)
   
   
2. Go for it! (I tend to be uber careful about almost everything. It's time to loosen up a bit. And jump into things.)
   
   
3. Maybe I'll watch some Battlestar Galactica and listen to Tegan and Sara - just to see what all the fuzz is about ;o)
   
   

Who knows? 2009 might just be my year.

So all that's left to say is:

I hope you all have a Happy New Year



...And I hope you don't feel all too or .....

See you next year.